À bientot, Paris!?

01/21/12

It’s my last night in Paris, and I could be out dancing , losing my self in the hazy light of a club and the heartbeat of the crowd, but instead I have spent the evening mostly alone in the room I share with Stephanie, packing, reflecting, and procrastinating on the academic tasks that still remain. I will depart tomorrow at 2:14 pm to begin my semester in Rennes and leave behind this three-week state of limbo, half in a world of academics, half living in this world of comme-vous-voulez that is Paris; here I am half in the moment, half thinking ahead to what is going to be when I start the next stage of this voyage étrangère.

I did seek a late-night gelato with Stephanie and another girl in our class, Chloe. This was in place of earlier plans to go to a discothèque with some other girls in the group;  I was very much intending to go, resigned to the fact that I wanted to experience more Paris nightlife, and this was my last chance for a while, though I do hope to return in the spring. I didn’t make it up the Eiffel tower or to Édith Pìaf’s grave, after all, or Montmartre! But I digress. Tonight, my mind wanted to go on this excursion, but I think in truth, my soul and my body were sounding a huge resounding no. I’m tired – these last few weeks have taken a lot out of me.

 In truth, I am not entirely happy with this course and its requirements, simply because the number of required sites we must see on our own is so extensive. One begins the day with a light step and a spark of curiosity, and finishes the day’s visits with all the life sapped out of them. This is not the Parisian way. One goes as one pleases ; we go too many places. As such one begins to see in tunnel vision, without the opportunity to really take in and process what one has seen. One museum a day, I can do. Two? Maybe, if the two go well together, such as L’Orangérie, devoted to the Impressionists, and the Musée d’Orsay, art of the 19^th century. Actually, something like that, I’ll be in heaven (I was.) Three? Centre Pompidou (and modern art) at the end of a five-hour excursion? Jamais dans la vie! You cannot ask me to look at a solid blue canvas and accept it as art if I have been walking and riding the metro for hours after a three-hour course in the morning, and I haven’t had coffee since before that class...

But that being said, I really can’t complain. I only regret not having more time to take in this beautiful city. I love to walk along the Seine, to sit on a bridge and be a voyeur... I still have an irrational fear of ordering a coffee by myself, and entering a store that’s not filled with people causes me a bit of pain, if it’s just me and the cashier. Still, I think I have a natural tendency to go through my days independently and Paris has allowed me that. I can navigate the metro myself, and get lost in the street without panicking... I can wander and pass as a french girl if I don’t talk to anyone.

I wonder often what the next stage will be -  will I have friends, will I be able to talk to my host family, will they accept me, will I be happy in the end? I don't have expectations of immediately being comfortable. It will take time. And I'm ready. 

Demain, on ira à Rennes! À tout à l’heure!

Tu ferras quoi???

(Written on 01/03/12, without internet until now, 01/11/12 )

I'm sitting in Sea-Tac airport about to board my plane to Chicago, where I will get on another plane and hopefully end up in Paris, of all places.  After over six months of anticipation, the day has finally come, and I can't help thinking that I'm un peu folle. But I'm prepared! One suitcase, one backpack, one worn-out leather neck pouch for my identification documents, seven years of french study, one me.

Of course, in spite of my best efforts to pack lightly, my suitcase is barely under the 50 lb weight limit (I blame the gift for my host family! It's heavy!) and I'm wondering what possessed me to put on the combination of clothes that I pulled on my sleep-deprived body this morning at 5:20 am. My coffee tastes bitter in my mouth and I realized I forgot to brush my teeth at the hotel, oh well, sorry neighbor! I'll try not to breathe on you for the next three hours, sorry about that.

In case you're wondering, I will be spending three weeks in Paris with nine students from Saint Olaf College, and then moving on to study in Rennes, which is located in Bretagne (Brittany), the northwest provence of France. The program is language-intensive and organized through CIEE, and you can find more information about it here.

À bientot!